[hrothbeorht]

I got it working.

I thought I'd share the script I came up with.
This goes in the Validation script window on the bottom of the product options page.

var value = product_option_value("men_size");
var value2 = product_option_value("colour_001");
var value3 = product_option_value("men_size");
var value4 = product_option_value("colour_001");
if ((value !== 'XL' && value !== 'L' && value !== 'M' && value !== 'S') && (value2 !== 'black' && value2 !== 'offwhite')) {
alert("Please select the size and colour");
return false;
}
if (value3 !== 'XL' && value3 !== 'L' && value3 !== 'M' && value3 !== 'S') {
alert("Please select a size");
return false;
}
if (value4 !== 'black' && value4 !== 'offwhite') {
alert("Please select a colour");
return false;
}

works nice now - WOO!!
far from the ideal solution but hey.. it's doing what I needed it to!

-hroth